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1. Don’t let the size fool you.

  • Scripture Reference: James 3:1-5, Proverbs 12:18-19
  • Leader Notes
    • Your tongue is small but don’t let the size fool you. Our words get us into trouble all the time. 
    • Being a sinner doesn’t only mean you’re the worst version of yourself, you are a sinner because you can never be the best possible version of yourself in every situation. 
    • God loves us even though he knows everything about us, including our faults and failures. We should find so much gratitude in that!
  • Question for Reflection: Take time to pray and ask the Lord to help you recall some conversations you had in the last couple of days. Now ask yourself, where do I struggle with the words I use?

2. Get it under control.

  • Scripture Reference: James 3:6-8, Matthew 12:36-37
  • Leader Notes
    • Each one of us is responsible for what we say and how we say it. We need to ask God to change the way that we speak, and be distinctly like Jesus with how we speak.
    • We need to be quick to listen and slow to speak. The more we listen first, the more opportunities we will have to speak encouragement into people’s lives because they will start to trust us.
    • If we have hurt someone with our words, we need to be quick to ask for forgiveness to begin to build that trust again, and confess to the Lord how we have spoken. 
  • Question for Reflection: Jesus always used His words wisely. Who is one person that usually triggers your more harsh words? What would Jesus-like speech look like for you?

3. Use your words for blessing.

  • Scripture Reference: James 3:9-12, Matthew 7:16-20
  • Leader Notes
    • We need to use our words to build up, not to tear down. Anything outside of blessing is not of the Lord. 
    • When people think of Christians they don’t think of people who bless. It’s our job as followers of Jesus to  change that perspective. 
  • Question for reflection: When you consider some tough conversation you need to have this week, how can you grow in your capacity for blessings? How is Jesus challenging the way you communicate? 

Optional Follow-up Questions:

  • What makes you say that?
  • How do you feel about that?
  • How would you explain your answer to a non-Christian friend or neighbor?
  • Why did God design it to work that way? Why not just do (whatever else) instead?
  • What would you say to someone who disagrees with that?
  • Why do we really have to do it like that? Why can’t we just go (some other route) instead?